So there you are at the gym – hey, even the gawkiest geek’s gotta exercise sometime, amiright? – and some flu-ridden slob precedes you into the weight room. Not to worry, you’ll be fine (as long as you don’t breathe) because you brought your PhitGrip!
(images via: PhitGrip)
PhitGrip grabs those sweaty bars so you won’t have to, and its patented anti-microbial coating ensures that 95% of E. Coli bacteria are blown up before you pump up. Any other such bar-gripper (and there aren’t any, since “PhitGrip is the only antimicrobial, nonslip workout grip on the market.”) is for girly-men… coughing, sneezing, flu-ridden girly-men. Bonus: PhitGrip makes extra-long anti-microbial grips ideal for that other bacterial breeding ground, the common shopping cart handle.
HYSO Doorknob Germ Killer
The HYSO D3 Micro is a battery-powered, automatic door handle disinfecting device that mounts above the inside door handle and sprays hospital-grade disinfectant on doorknobs once every 15 minutes.
(image via: Cool Business Ideas)
A slightly less Rube Goldberg-esque manner of making the ol’ public washroom getaway without touching the door handle comes from SanitGrasp, maker of the simply ingenuous forearm-powered door handle. You still have to touch the handle but at least you’re using your wrist or forearm instead of your sensitive fingers and palm.
Safety Touch Finger Cover
(images via: AdHoc Design3000)
Sometimes you come across something so filthy you wouldn’t touch it with somebody else’s finger. Since someone else’s finger isn’t always available (or amenable), the Safety Touch Finger Cover fills in admirably.
(image via: Trendhunter)
Simply designed and even simpler to use, this lightweight plastic anti-bacterial silicone finger cover comes in handy when confronted by potentially germ-covered ATM machines, payphones, subway hangers and self-serve grocery store checkouts. It even clips to your keychain and looks a lot better there than someone else’s finger.
Bacteria Assassin Ninja Toothbrush Sanitizer
You may not want to hear this, but your toothbrush is a virtual magnet for all sorts of unpleasant germs – both from inside your mouth and, ahem, from other areas of the bathroom. At times like this you’d better call out the ninjas… the Bacteria Assassin Ninja Toothbrush Sanitizer from Zapi, to be exact.
(image via: Red Ferret)
Both the Ninja and its rather feminine Princess (or Easter Egg) co-germinator incorporate internal UV-C lights that sterilize your grotty toothbrush for a precise period that starts when you press the button on their chests. As for the geek cred component… ninjas, dude!
Infectious Disease Stress Balls
Infectious Disease Stress Balls will either help reduce your unreasonable germ paranoia or have the opposite effect. Available in a number of fanciful color and disease combinations including Bubonic Plague (blue/green), Cooties (red), Smallpox (green/orange) and Zombie Virus (red/green), these cool yet gross squeeze toys are a great gift for germaphobes you intensely dislike.
Just squeeze these otherwise unremarkable balls and watch, fascinated and repulsed, as glistening “blisters” erupt from the ball’s skin and then shrink back into it once the pressure is released. Imagine the amusement (and public panic) you’d create by giving one to your dog!
(image via: WISB)
It ain’t easy being a germaphobic geek, eyes plastered to the monitor screen while ever more scare-a-delic articles illuminate previously unseen areas of microscopic mayhem we’d all prefer remain unenlightened about. On the bright side, catering to their stoked sensibilities creates an uncounted number of manufacturing jobs, must-see movies and OTC meds purchases. Here’s to you, germaphobic geeks, for all you do to frighten yourselves… and the rest of us as well!