Squeeze Play: 9 Weird & Bizarre Stress Relief Balls

Life’s stressful enough without our stress relief balls freaking us out yet the more we squeeze these creepy stress aids, the more anxious we get.

Caomaru means “round face” in Japanese, and these pliable polyurethane resin stress relief balls come in four different molded expressions. If you’ve ever wanted to go full Kids In The Hall’s “Head Crusher” (or “Face Pincher” if you prefer) with an actual crushable/pinchable head/face, Caomaru is the stress relief ball for you!

Caomaru comes in a variety of pastel hues including black and beige (for you equal-opportunity haters), and they clean up easily with a little soap and water. You’ll never scrub the stains off your soul, however.

The Terrible Horriball

They say conquering anxiety is all about facing one’s fears… said whomever thought up the Horriball. “When your victim gives this seemingly innocent stress ball a squeeze,” according to The Greenhead, “clear bubbles filled with flies, rats, worms, or cockroaches covered in a bloody-looking liquid pop out of the holes!” Yeah, we’ll just keep our anxiety and leave now, mmkay?

Weakened At Bernie’s

Aww, isn’t that cute, DC Universe character Harley Quinn has a cuddly taxidermied and possibly zombified beaver named Bernie who speaks only to her… don’t you want one too? You might change your mind after getting up close & personal with the sticky icky Bernie “action figure”, part of the Designer Series from DC Collectibles.

This Bernie figure doesn’t talk but he does have one distinct talent, if you can call it that: when squeezed, a bloated bubble of guts bulges out from his mangled midriff. Relax your now-trembling fingers and the freaky fistula retreats back inside Bernie’s belly. Rinse, repeat, see a psychologist.