Santa Claus is coming to town… consider yourself warned! These creepy Santa statues hail not from the North Pole but somewhere much, MUCH further south.

Talk about Lost in Translation… this huge inflatable statue erected outside a shopping mall in Taiyuan, China, is a bizarre mashup of Old Saint Nick, Marilyn Monroe from The Seven Year Itch, and Eartha Kitt singing Santa Baby. Why would you do that, China? Even worse, this weird interpretation of Santa Claus seems to be the norm over in the Middle Kingdom – we showcased a similar bizarre blow-up blown-up-skirted Santa from Dongguan in our 2016 look at creepy Santa statues.

Crepes You Out

Umm, yeah, suddenly we’ve lost our appetite and this creepy crepe-y Santa is to blame. Flickr member Bronwen (bellybutton girl) captured this not-so-jolly Man with All the Toys in all his glowering glory last year at Birmingham, UK’s annual Christmas Market. Wonder who’s crepe-ing down your chimney this year…

He Seize You…

The reindeer appear to have left poor Santa stranded… wouldn’t you? This spooky Santa sports bugged-out eyes, flaring nostrils and an oversized mitten-clad hand reaching out to grab you by the throat. Wow, you must have been REALLY naughty this year and Santa knows it. Flickr members 120volt and Missy and Skylar (walltowallcreeps) captured the psycho St. Nick at The Magic Forest amusement (ha!) park in Lake George, New York.

I’m Melting, I’m Melting!

Santa Claus delivers toys to girls and boys all over the world but he doesn’t stay too long in one place, especially hot, humid, tropical locales like Guatemala… and now you know why. Seems like Father Christmas has more in common with Frosty the Snowman than anyone thought. Flickr members Neil and Sarah snapped this wide-eyed, way overdressed and globally warmed-over Santa statue outside the Quetzaltenango international Christmas market.

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