Not all wearable tech has to be a tiny smartphone on your wrist or a device that tracks how many steps you’ve taken – it can also record your memories as you see them, visibly react to your emotions, flirt with people on your behalf, warn others they’re invading your personal space or even measure your sexual performance. These unconventional wearables are also a little less dorky than usual, aiming to blend fashion and technology in a way that’s exciting,  beautiful and sometimes strange.

Robotic Jewelry by MIT Media Lab

What look, at first, like jewels or little bulbous decorative accents on a blouse suddenly start crawling around like they’ve got minds of their own. ‘Kino’ is a collection of ‘living’ jewelry from MIT Media Lab, designed to reconfigure itself in response to environmental conditions. “It is our vision that in the future, these robots will be miniaturized to the extend that they can be seamlessly integrated into existing practices of body ornamentation. With the addition of kinetic capabilities, traditionally static jewelry and accessories will start displaying life-like qualities, learning, shifting, and reconfiguring to the needs and prefereces of the wearer, also assisting in fluid presentation of self.”

Lumoscura Smog Mask by Stephanie Liu

Dazzling fiber optics inspired by shimmering white peacock feathers make the need to wear a smog mask at least a little bit more fashionable. Says designer Stephanie Liu, “Masks have always been associated with disease, fear and negativity. Some wear it in public to hide their identities, in reality it attracts attention and can generate fear and stress amongst those in their immediate surroundings. As air pollution becomes more and more of an issue in many countries, people have begun to surrender to wearing a mask for the sake of their health, however there are still a lot of people who do not wear masks for many reasons – the top three being unattractive, uncomfortable and repelling people.”

Smart Self-Defense Spider Dress by Anouk Wipprecht

People might be less likely to mess with you if the mechanical spider you’re wearing as a dress makes a sudden move. That’s the idea behind the Smart Spider Dress by Anouk Wipprecht, powered by Intel Edison. The legs of the spider constantly move, reacting to the wearer’s real-time biometrics as well as violations of social norms, like when someone invades their personal space. “Since the system based with mechanic spider legs is literally hosted on the shoulders of the wearer and attacks using the same viewing angle as the wearer, the system knows how you feel and adapts to those feelings,” says Wipprecht.

MIT Duoskin Temporary Electrical Tattoos

Anyone can create functional devices directly attached to their skin, including lights and controls for mobile devices, using an electricity-conducting gold leaf paint in a fun design that makes it look like a metallic tattoo. “We believe that in the future, on-skin electronics will no longer be black-boxed and mystified; instead they will converge toward user friendliness, extensibility, and aesthetics of body decorations, forming a DuoSkin integrated to the extent that it has seemingly disappeared,” says MIT, who refer to the project as ‘digital skin jewelry.’

i.Con Smart Condom Ring Measures Performance

No more boasting about your performance using inaccurate figures. The i.Con smart condom ring by British Condoms will know exactly how long you last, how many positions you used, ‘velocity of thrusts,’ ‘girth’ and other data, sending the information straight to your smartphone via bluetooth. One positive of this technology is, it can give users a way to measure improvement if their data is disappointing and they want to work on things. But perhaps even more valuable is the fact that the wearable comes with an ‘antibodies filter’ to detect the presence of sexually transmitted infections.

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We may as well admit that our smartphones have become permanent extensions of our hands, and accessorize them as such. While these indispensable palm-sized gadgets can already do everything from planning our trips to monitoring our pulses, a world of add-ons make them even more useful. These 13 companion gadgets including instant photo printers, rugged keychain chargers, grip-all tripods and $5 stocking stuffer speakers make great “I don’t know you that well” gifts.

Instant Mobile Photo Printer

Missing the instant gratification of Polaroid cameras, but don’t want to give up the convenience and compact profile of your smartphone? The Polaroid Zip Instant Mobile Printer is roughly the same size as most smart phones, and wirelessly prints photos in less than a minute using a special dye paper that requires no ink or toners. Packages of the printer and photo paper start at $129.99 at PhotoJoJo.

Universal Retro-Style Device Holder

Designed to mimic the look of classic swing arm desk lamps, the STAN positions your phone, tablet or eReader for hands-free use. Place it on your headboard to hang a tablet over your head for the laziest Netflix marathon of your life. Get it for $89.99-$109.99 at The Design Industry.

Luma Tiny Lampshade Night Light & Travelamp

Clip this tiny acrylic lampshade onto your phone, turn on your flashlight and you’ve got an instant night light requiring no extra power. The ‘Luma’ version is available for $9, or get the larger and more classic lantern-style Travelamp for $8.

Hobie Time-Lapse Photo Tool

The Hobie is a little spinning tripod that takes panoramic photos or record moving videos from a 360 degree point of view. It’s portable, adjustable and clips onto a basic kitchen timer at the base. Pre-order the basic version for roughly $36.

Gekkopod Adaptable iPhone Tripod

Wrapping its legs around objects so it can grip as well as a gecko, the Gekkopod makes it easy to mount a smartphone or compact camera to tree branches, bike handles, fences or any other convenient vantage points you may find along your travels. it can also be used on its own as a mini tripod. It comes in a variety of colors for $19.90.

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If you feel like it’s a little rude to yell “Watch out!” when you’re running down the sidewalk and approaching a slow group of people, the gentle ring of a bicycle bell could be just as effective and slightly more polite. A product called Runbell takes those iconic little brass bells off the handlebars and puts them onto your fingers so you can courteously warn pedestrians on shared pathways as you approach, even when you’re on your own two feet.

Lightweight and frills-free, the bell is made of brass for optimal sound and comes slightly oversized with silicone inserts so you can make it fit just right. That way, the rings remain adjustable even for cold days when you’re wearing gloves. It weighs less than an ounce and features a striker that can be activated from any angle, though it’s loudest if you pull it straight back.

The Runbell was funded on Kickstarter and is now available for purchase in men’s and women’s versions for $25. It’s easy to imagine this in use not just by runners, but frustrated native New Yorkers and other city denizens who just want people to stop blocking sidewalks staring at their phones or gawking at the scenery.

The iPad is one of Apple’s most successful products in recent years, and for good reason. It’s an innovative, easy-to-use, and fun bit of technology that everyone can enjoy, from babies to cats to technophobic adults as well as the typical dedicated technology lover. But this high-tech futuristic gadget inspires some people to embrace the past by creating retro-inspired cases and accessories.

(images via: Kickstarter)

The Etcher is an iPad case that turns your high-tech toy into a well-loved but low-tech one. The case was developed to work just like a classic Etch-A-Sketch, but with some nifty added features like the ability to save your sketches or post them on Facebook.

(image via: GearZap)

If you’re used to using a laptop and are having a hard time adapting to the unique feel of using a tablet, the KeyCase iPad Folio helps ease the transition. It effectively turns your iPad into a laptop, giving it the familiar configuration with an integrated keyboard and a protective outer covering.

(image via: Apple Noir)

Prior to the sleek, no-nonsense form factors of the iPhone and iPad, Apple’s iconic products often took on curvy futuristic shapes like the iBook. Here, the two generations of Apple products meet in a quirky recycling project that uses an old iBook as a functional carrying case for both an iPad and a (fully functional) Apple keyboard.

(image via: Hirac)

Even before the iBook, the classic Macintosh defined Apple’s style. One blogger was surprised to find that the first-gen iPad fits nearly perfectly in the place of the Mac’s screen. So, like any loyal Apple fan, he tore apart the classic computer and updated it with an iPad right where the screen used to be. The design does have some flaws, but overall this case is playful and functional.

(image via: ThinkGeek)

For the same retro Mac look in a portable form, ThinkGeek offers the Padintosh case. It looks just like the front of a classic Mac, even including the disk drive on the front. The hard case protects your iPad from bumps and drops while giving it a unique retro look. The only drawback? The case drastically cuts down on the usable screen area of the iPad.

(images via: Jonas Damon)

The iPad’s super-thin profile is really a testament to just how quickly technology has moved in the past several decades. Designer Jonas Damon juxtaposes the modern iPad with one of the much thicker, much clunkier pieces of technology from previous years. The CRT (cathode ray tube) iPad dock looks like one of the old thick pre-LCD, pre-plasma TVs that were once in every home – and it makes for a pretty cool place to rest your iPad while you watch some retro TV shows.

(images via: Miterbox)

The retro TV aesthetic takes a slightly different turn with this handmade stained wood TV iPad dock from Etsy seller Miterbox. The stand is slim and simple, designed to give the iPad an awesomely fun place to sit.

(images via: BKNY Design)

The V-Luxe might just be the pinnacle of TV-like iPad stand design. It features a swiveling, tilting mount for your iPad as well as a speaker cabinet below. The high-quality construction keeps your iPad safe while the very cool retro design makes you feel kind of like you’ve stepped back in time.

(images via: Spinninghat, Austin Yang)

If you do a lot of typing on your iPad, you might be among the legions of users who are frustrated with just how difficult that can be. The virtual keyboard offers no haptic feedback, so touch-typing is just about impossible. Thanks to inventions like the Typescreen from Spinning Hat and the iTypewriter from Austin Yang, the iPad has some typewriter-like mounts that allow users to press actual, physical keys when typing. The typewriter mounts work a lot like classic typewriters, but instead of hammers striking a ribbon they feature rubber-tipped “fingers” that reach up to touch the on-screen keyboard.

(image via: Mic Gadget)

Apple fans who want to go way, way back in time will love the iStation: an iPad dock that turns your tablet into something resembling the early Apple I or Apple II computers. The iStation charges your iPad and provides the perfect place for a wireless keyboard to sit while you type. Inside the sleek wood case is a high-quality stereo system, including a subwoofer.

(images via: TwelveSouth)

The BookBook case covers up your iPad with a beautiful classic leather book, blending cutting-edge technology with an extremely low-tech aesthetic. The BookBook isn’t all about making your iPad look pretty, however – it protects against damage and can even keep it safe from nefarious iPad thieves by blending right in with the other books on your shelf.

(image via: Crunchy Logistics)

Compared to the iPhone, the iPad’s screen is exceptionally large. But if it still isn’t big enough for you, Crunchy Logistics has you covered. Their Padzilla accessory is basically a touch table iPad dock. You plug your iPad into it and then use an enormous 150-inch display for all of your iPad activities. Why? If you still have to ask that after watching the iPad air hockey video above, then you’re probably not in the Padzilla’s target market.

(images via: Kickstarter, ThinkGeek)

Gaming on an iPad is fun, but lacks the tactile satisfaction of smashing buttons and shoving a joystick around. These two iPad accessories bring that experience to the cutting edge of gadgets by attaching retro-type controllers to the iPad. The GameDock is a small dock that lets you play games through your iPad on a TV screen and with retro-style Nintendo controllers. The Joystick-It sticks (harmlessly and removably, of course) right onto the surface of your iPad, giving you an instant joystick with which to play all of your favorite arcade games.

Eager to endow Apple’s mass-produced modern marvel with some timeless personality? Retro iPhone accessories give your cutting-edge cellular communicator old-fashioned style to complement its right here, right now functionality.

iPhone Cassette Tape Case

(image via: Zedomax)

Camouflaging your iPhone as a classic C90 cassette tape isn’t just a shout out to your Eighties roots, it’s also a cool way to turn off potential thieves. The case fits neatly into a faux cassette tape box which doubles as a stylish stand.

Film Noir iPhone Dock

(images via: iRetrophone and iRetrophone)

Eh, what’s up, iPhone dock? A number of retro iPhone docks copy the old-time look of tabletop telephones, with the mobile phone typically sitting right where the dial used to be. Some models include a fully functional handset that hangs off your belt when you’re out shadowing the Fat Man.

(image via: Geeky Gadgets)

Considering how often iPhone owners use their docks it’s no surprise said owners are looking for a little more style. The model above would look smashing on any desktop, ideally set beside a statue of The Maltese Falcon.

Macintosh iPhone Case

(image via: Graphic Cupcake)

Are you an iPhone owner with a soft spot for the 1989 beige Apple Macintosh sporting the rainbow Apple logo? If so, hopefully you’ve discovered the lovingly designed and crafted Apple-inspired iPhone cases offered by Schreer Delights. Latecomers should be advised that Schreer recently withdrew their Apple-inspired cases, possibly influenced by the Cupertino corp’s eager legal beavers.

Horn Amplifier Hands-Free iPhone Stand

(images via: Deal 2 Day)

Pre-war oldsters used to assist their hearing via the use of ear trumpets. Post-war hipsters are doing much the same, only instead of their ears they’re amplifying their iPhones with cute, colorful Horn Amplifiers that beg to be seen AND heard.

(images via: Geek Alerts and Geeky Gadgets)

In the hierarchy of horns, the Megaphone is king. Big, bold and beautiful, Megaphones are the Swiss Alpenhorns of the iPhone amplifying world and they look great with or without an actual iPhone riding up top.

Tomko Transceiver for iPhone

(images via: Strapya World)

The Tomko Transceiver for iPhone evokes the glory days of CB radios but eschews the Bandits, Bears and bad records by C.W. McCall. The device combines the best features of hands-free communication while sparing users from having to wear a Bluetooth device in their ear.

Yubz Handset

(images via: Future Looks and Mightypop)

The Yubz Handset was one of the first hand-held accessory mobile phone receivers to hit the market and they’re available in a wide range of colors and patterns.

(image via: Mac Life)

Using a Yubz Handset isn’t only about making a fashion statement, however. The old-style handset offers exceptional hand and ear comfort for long conversations and by keeping the phone distant from the user’s head, any concerns over possible microwave radiation are effectively allayed.

Leica Rangefinder iPhone Case

(image via: iPhone Savior)

One might say Leica is the iPhone of cameras: a paradigm of ergonomics, functionality and quality. Now Gizmon conjures up the mystique and magic of the legendary Leica Rangefinder with a high-functional, multipart iPhone case. The Gizmon iCA Military Edition case is no one trick pony – a real shutter release button mounted on top blurs the line between phone and camera.

iPhone Microphone Speaker

(images via: Yanko Design)

If David Letterman can sport a huge retro microphone on his desk, why can’t you do the same for your iPhone? Actually you can, or to be more accurate you can have a speaker that looks like a big honking metal mic perched on top of your iPhone. Choose from gold or silver tone to match your personal degree of bling.

(image via: Andrea Galante)

No batteries are required; instead the design boasts a built-in rechargeable Lithium Ion battery that draws its juice from your laptop or desktop computer via a USB connector. Fully charged, the speaker will play for up to six hours.

Moderne TV iPhone Amplifier

(image via: Schreer Delights)

Those hulking home console stereo systems from the fabulous Fifties were the polar opposite of today’s light, portable and much more powerful mobile phones and music players. That’s why this miniaturized version of the old wooden wonder from Schreer Delights is such a kick as an iPhone amplifier. It was either that, or design an iPhone as big as a coffee table.

Retro Brick iPhone Case

(images via: Lazybone and ClickShop)

Mobile phones have come a long way since their brick-like ancestors wowed consumers back in the 1970s… imagine what those consumers would think of the latest model iPhone? They’d be even more amazed by today’s consumers modifying their sleek iPhones with clunky, boxy, brick-like cases.

(image via: ThumbsUp!)

Why go back when the future’s where it’s at? Maybe those old-style cellphones had some advantages that have been lost along the way, such as being too big to lose? Or perhaps their owners are actually time travelers… hey, if you had to live through the Disco Era you’d want to escape too!

(image via: My Trendy Phone)

Are retrofuturistic iPhone accessories like these really veiled critiques of Apple’s much-praised but rather Plain Jane corporate style? Do stereotypically smug iPhone owners secretly crave a side-order of non-Jobsian personality with their mass-produced main course? Make of it what you will, but it just might be that Apple’s ubiquitous presence in today’s society has sparked nostalgia for times when the Apple in your pocket was destined for your teacher’s desk.