Unless you’re a lotto winner or an English lord in search of a new manor, you’re probably not actually in the market for a castle, but these real estate listings range from the real multi-million-dollar deal in Europe to Medieval-Times-style houses in Florida and Kentucky. Maybe you’re ready to act on your dreams of living in a turret in the remote Scottish highlands, or maybe you and some friends want to go in on a budget-friendly Bay Area castle that’s just begging for some LARP action.

Château d’Aubiry, Perpignan, France

Set in the French mountain chain of Les Apres just a few kilometers from the Spanish border, this Belle Epoque chateau is on the market for the second time since 2011. Most of its original furniture is still in place, and its greenhouses were installed by Gustave Eiffel. It’s listed for $13.16 million, half of what it sold for last time around.

Mary of Scots Castle, Scotland

This castle is definitely legit. It’s 500 years old, and was once home to Mary of Scots (before she became Queen.) Cleish Castle features 8 bedrooms, and on its 26 acres, Scotland’s oldest yew trees grow – planted in 1620. Its interiors underwent significant renovations during the 20th century, so you won’t exactly get drafty stone castle charm, but that may or may not be a good thing, depending on your tastes. It’s listed at $1.85 million.

Medieval Knockhall Castle, England

You know those before-and-after architecture projects that take an old shell of a castle and transform it into a modern wonder? This medieval castle in Newburgh, Aberdeenshire is just begging for the same treatment. Billed as “the ultimate fixer-upper,” it’s literally in ruins at the moment, with a price tag of about $186,000, but imagine the potential. Knockhall Castle dates back to 1565 and was once visited by King James VI.

Castle with Drawbridge in California

The original owner of this ‘castle’ in San Bernardino, California got the idea to build it after visiting Europe and falling in love with castle architecture. He faithfully recreated it on his own, from the drawbridge and turrets to the stables with their bright-red doors – in a style that’s a little bit Medieval Times, a little bit Robin Hood cartoon. But you can’t really argue with getting an entire castle for $849,000 when ordinary homes in the Bay Area go for an average of $1.1 million.

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Canadian land artist and sculptor Peter von Tiesenhausen occupies a stretch of land in Alberta covered with his artworks, but it was not until he turned the top six layers of the soil on his 800 acres of land itself from private to intellectual property that he was able to fend off encroaching corporate interests.

In Canada, a landowner has surface rights but must allow the government to grant paid subterranean access, allowing companies to create or mine passageways, pipelines, minerals or other natural resources below the ground.

They are compensated, per This.org, and “this compensation is usually for lost harvests and inconvenience, but, Tiesenhausen reasoned, what if instead of a field of crops these companies were destroying the life’s work of an acclaimed visual artist? Wouldn’t the compensation have to be exponentially higher?”

Effectively, by contacting a lawyer and protecting the surface of his land as intellectual property, he has prevented anyone from breaching that surface without compensation, which, for a work of art, could be essentially any amount. While oil companies could contest his claim, so far they have settled for costly reroutes, perhaps to avoid losing and setting a precedent that could hurt them more in the long run.

“I’m not trying to get money for my land, I’m just trying to relate to these companies on their level,” says Tiesenhausen from his home near Demmitt, Alberta. “Once I started charging $500 an hour for oil companies to come talk to me, the meetings got shorter and few and far between.”

Now an artist, Tiesenhausen has a great deal of experience with natural resource companies, having worked in oil fields, mining gold and even crushing boulders for airstrips earlier in life before turning to large-scale works of land and installation art and sculpture.

Cantech Letter notes of the clever strategy, “This is eerily similar to the defense Portia deploys against Shylock in ‘The Merchant of Venice’ in which he is legally entitled to extract a pound of flesh from a debtor who can’t pay, so long as he doesn’t extract a single drop of blood or marrow or bone.”