You’ll Pay For This
(images via: Beaumont Enterprise and Amy E. Voight/The Blade)
Shoppers in a checkout line on Black Friday make Futurama’s Philip J. Fry in full, raging “Shut up and take my money!” mode look positively restrained. To quote someone who wouldn’t be caught dead buying discount stogies in a Black Friday checkout lineup if the fate of Great Britain depended on it, “Never have so many owed so much to so few.” So many shoppers and so few big box retailers, that is.
(image via: Sulekha.com)
Assuming nobody hacked the electronic payment infrastructure (it wasn’t me!) and your assorted credit, debit and gift cards covered the cost of your many bargain-priced items (that you’d never consider buying at regular price and probably don’t even really need), pat yourself on the back… just kidding, that would be impossible with your arms, pockets and chin fully engaged in securing your bagged and boxed treasures. Good job, Mr. and Ms. Black Friday Shopper, your combined efforts have saved the retail sector’s bacon for yet another year… dammit, we forgot to buy bacon!!
Parking Lost
(images via: Business Insider and Stamford Advocate)
The infamous Seinfeld Parking Garage episode didn’t obviously occur on Black Friday but admit it, it could have. Heavy winter coats, Kramer lugging an air conditioner, Jerry urinating in a dark corner: been there, done that… don’t you judge me!
(images via: Macon Telegraph and Luke Black/The Blade)
Thank goodness these days everyone has electronic remote car door locker/unlockers that honk the horn and turn on the lights at the push of a button. Unfortunately, these days everyone has electronic remote car door locker/unlockers that honk the horn and turn on the lights at the push of a button. One more thing.. after you’ve loaded up the minivan with your Black Friday swag, don’t forget to retrieve your toddler from the shopping cart before you leave the lot.
Greeters > Greed
(image via: Augusta Chronicle)
Now that you’ve cleaned out the stores (and your savings), someone’s gotta deal with the mess left behind… and they’d better be quick about it, Saturday is just another shopping day with the exception it’s one day closer to Christmas. Aren’t you glad you’re a shopper and not part of the infrastructure? Think again: you just dropped a weeks’ pay on three air conditioners in late November (and you have central AC at home); they’re getting paid (if one can call it that) to pick up the pieces.
