American Idle: 12 Weird & Wonderful Drive-Thru Businesses

Drive-thru is all about fast food, fast service & fast company though getting what you want without ever leaving your ride can get a little weird at times.

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Drinking and gunplay: two things that should never be done in a hurry, not to mention together. That’s what makes “Double Shot Liquor & Guns Drive Thru” so disturbingly delightful. While far from being the only drive-thru booze & boomstick emporium – think about THAT, if you dare – the Schulenburg, Texas business stands out thanks to its creative name and the ever-changing messages on its sign.

Mourning Commute

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It’s not just life in the fast lane anymore. Sure, funerals can be uncomfortable and “viewings” are a tad creepy. That’s still no excuse for- er, actually it IS an excuse for drive-thru windows at funeral homes! Obviously there’s some demand for this feature, as the Paradise Funeral Chapel in Saginaw, Michigan has drive-thru counterparts in California, South Carolina and Virginia. When drivers pull up to the bulletproof glass (why bulletproof?) window, a motion sensor draws back the curtains allowing mourners to pay their final respects to the en-casketed loved one. Would you like flies with that?

Fastest Cash

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We’ll bet this is one of Chumlee’s ideas. If you’re looking to hock the family jewels on your way outta Dodge, then Dean’s Drive-Thru Pawn Shop in Oklahoma City is your one-stop-shop for a quick (and hopefully lucrative) getaway. All bets are off, however, if your clever plan involves driving in and pawning your car.

Fool Injection

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A tattoo may be forever but ain’t nobody got time for that. Good thing there’s Outlaw Tattoo, your Route 66 headquarters for while-u-wait permanent body illustration. At least there was – the Tucumcari, New Mexico landmark appears to have been driven out of business, possibly by dissatisfied customers who own rough-idling vehicles. Kudos to Todd Longwood of A Love Of Two Brains for exposing this dist-inked drive-thru concept.

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Oh, and for those who feel drive-thru tattooing isn’t too far of a stretch… yeah, what could possibly go wrong?