If you’re down about the oncoming dystopia in which robots take all of our jobs before we’ve structurally reorganized society to support ourselves, enjoy a few moments of smug comfort in these videos of supposedly advanced machines falling, spilling coffee, arguing with each other like old couples and committing suicide in fountains. They’ll give you a brief sense of satisfaction before you read yet another article about how automation is about to destroy your industry.

Security Robot Drowns Itself

Police and security robots equipped with cameras, sensors and alarms (but thankfully not weapons, yet) – what could go wrong? So far, in the case of the 300-pound, cone-shaped Knightscope robots used to patrol shopping centers and parking lots, problems have mostly involved running over the feet of toddlers. But then, as documented by @bilalforooqui on Twitter, one of them let us know he was very depressed by drowning himself in the fountain of a Washington D.C. office building. “We were promised flying cars, instead we got suicidal robots,” says Farooqui.

Robots Falling at the DARPA Robotics Challenge

Most DARPA creations, funded by the US Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, are intended to someday replace humans in dangerous scenarios like wars and disasters, but that doesn’t stop them from being utterly terrifying, especially the ones that look like massive dogs and cheetahs. But if this compilation of robots falling down at the DARPA Robotics Challenge is any indication, it’s going to be a while before we should feel too much concern.

Flying Robot Dive-Bomb

Sure, these robots look and behave just like animals, all right – like angry mother birds eager to attack humans who have wandered too close to their nest. Featured in this video is the Festo SmartBird, an ultralight flying robot that’s usually pretty impressive, developed to help research groups studying animals.

Coffee Robot Makes a Mess

Cafe X in San Francisco aims to be an example of why we no longer need human baristas. Built in partnership with WMF, an automatic coffee company, the Cafe X Coffee Robot is supposed to deliver perfect consistent drinks after you order using a touchscreen or app. But as you can see in this video, things don’t always go according to plan.

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Robot Fails 12 Times Supposedly Intelligent Machines Screwed Up

Looking and working remarkably like the robots in the 2009 movie Avatar, the 1.5-ton, 13-foot-tall ’METHOD-2’ by South Korean firm Hankook Mirae Technology has officially taken its first steps. Engineers and reporters watched the robot navigate the company’s facility on its massive mechanical legs, traversing about ten feet before reversing. It appears to be remote-controlled for this exercise, while previous videos have shown how it functions with a human ‘pilot’ sitting inside.

The idea is that METHOD-2 will be able to help people reach the kinds of hazardous destinations that are currently too unsafe to navigate, and it’s easy to imagine this thing walking down the street like a superhero after a disaster. It sounds like the company is currently working out the mechanics of the robot itself, and it’s unclear whether it’ll ultimately be able to climb over obstacles, negotiate uneven terrain or withstand harsh climates.

Its first planned expedition is into the space between North and South Korea known as the DMZ (demilitarized zone), the world’s most dangerous border, but it’s still got about a year of planning and tinkering to get it into shape. Right now, it requires a tether for power. Its arms weigh 300 pounds each and are controlled by the pilot’s own limb movements.

Unsurprisingly, the robot was designed by Vitaly Bulgarov, who previously worked on the Transformers films and helped design Boston Dynamics’ bipedal robots. Yang Jin-Ho, chairman of Hankook Mirae Technology, says the robot is still taking its ‘baby steps’ but ultimately aims to “bring to life what only seemed possible in movies and cartoons.”

METHOD-2 is already getting lots of interest from companies who want to purchase one, and the price tag is expected to run around $8.3 million. The final version is expected to be ready for potential buyers by the end of 2017.

How would you react if you were chased down the street by a sprinting android wearing head-to-toe camouflage and a gas mask? Probably about the same way you’d react to finding a dead-eyed mannequin convulsing alone in a closet with blood streaming from its mouth. Android technology is getting more disturbingly realistic every year, and these 15 represent some of the most jaw-dropping examples yet.

World’s First Android Newscaster

The world’s first news-reading android reported on an earthquake and an FBI raid in Tokyo on June 24th, 2014. The pair of remarkably realistic humanoid robots include a child (kodomoroid) that can recite reports gathered from around the world in a variety of voices and languages, and an adult woman (otonaroid) who will serve as a robot science communicator for Japan’s museum of emerging science and innovation.

BINA48

The memories, beliefs and core personality of a real-life woman have been transferred to a robot called Bina48, who’s sophisticated enough to detect and reach to racism, discuss philosophy and tell jokes. The woman the android was modeled after, Bina Rothblatt, was interviewed for more than 20 hours on topics that ranged from her childhood to her career, and the conversation was transcribed and uploaded to an artificial intelligence database. Robot designer David Hansen crafted the bust-only robot for $125,000.

SimMan 3G Patient Simulator

The SimMan 3G might be a great way for medical professionals to practice, but that doesn’t make it any less disturbing to look at, especially when it starts bleeding, convulsing, crying or foaming at its gaping mouth. It’s designed to simulate virtually every emergency medical situation in the book and it can withstand four hours of surgery. Just imagine being the cleaning person who opens a closet at the hospital to find this thing staring back.

Geminoid F

Japanese robot designer Hiroshi Ishiguro outdid himself with Geminoid F, a female android who can smile, furow her brows, talk and sing. Her face is equipped with 12 motorized actuators powered by air pressure to mimic human expressions, and she’ sso realistic she was actually used as an actress in a Tokyo play.

Geminoid DK

With Geminoid DK, Ishiguro made an android copy of Henrik Scharfe, an associate professor of Aalborg University in Denmark (the roboticist’s first non-Japanese creation.) The purpose, he explains, is to understand the ’emotional affordances’ in human-robot interaction. In the video you can see just how realistic the robot’s facial movements are, blinking and moving its mouth.

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Almost Human 15 Frighteningly Realistic Robots Androids

Artificial intelligence is getting more advanced by the day, in ways that are both scary and exciting. There are robots that can help make the world a better place – leading schools of fish away from turbines, or helping the disabled regain mobility. Then there are the pole dancers, ketchup squeezers and graffiti sprayers. These 16 robots run the gamut, with functions that delight and amaze.

Bear Pillow Tickles Snorers in the Face

(images via: spectrum.ieee.org)

Does your partner have a snoring problem? Imagine buying them this totally innocent-looking bear pillow and watching their reaction when, prompted by the sound of snoring, it raises its arm and touches their face to make them stop. The Jukusui-Kun Robotic Bear Pillow not only listens to the volume of snoring, but also monitors oxygen levels, making them a great companion for people with sleep apnea.

Autonomous Snow Plow Robot

(images via: geekologie)

Nobody likes shoveling snow, and in some climates, winter clean-up is an exhausting, never-ending task. Too bad we can’t all have our very own Yuki-taro robots – autonomous snow plows that seek out snow, gobble it up and then excrete compressed blocks of ice which can be stacked and stored until summer, when they can be used for refrigeration or cooling. The researchers that developed it hope that it will be commercially available within five years.

Pole-Dancing Robots

(images via: youtube/giles walker)

You might find these pole dancers a little stiff. The fully animated robots – along with a DJ – were made by Giles Walker out of raw materials found in scrap yards. Walker controls the robots through a PC using a DMX lighting program.

Twitter Robot Acts Out Your Friends’ Emotions

(images via: dvice)

Ken Lim’s Guardian Robot from InsideGuardian.

Most people don’t have the time to constantly monitor their Twitter stream for comments that indicate that their friends are either really happy or really sad. Well, there’s a robot for that too. Ken Lim’s ‘Guardian Robot’ will either raise its arm or lower its head in response to your friends’ comments. You can give it a high-five when it’s happy or a hug when it’s sad to return it to its idle state.

Clean Your House Remotely with Kinect-Powered Robot

(image via: spectrum.ieee.org)

You’re having company tonight, but you haven’t had a chance to clean – you’re stuck at your office job instead, doing busy work. But if you had Yaskawa’s SmartPal VII, you could be cleaning your house remotely – using a robot powered by XBox Kinect. Maybe it won’t scrub the toilet, but it moves well enough to pick some things up off the floor.

Senseless Drawing Bot

(images via: vimeo)

If you’ve ever felt the need to cover a surface in graffiti but couldn’t be bothered to do it yourself, there’s a robot just for you. The Senseless Drawing Bot by So Kanno and Takahiro Yamaguchi moves back and forth in a straight line along a wall, its mechanical arm spraying random scribbles in the colors of your choice.

Automated Ketchup-Squirting Robot

(image via: tasteologie)

It’s a robot that squeezes ketchup, and it’s got its own theme song. The video speaks for itself.

Kazu Terasaki iPad Walking Robot

(image via: engadget)

iPads and iPhones become walking, googly-eyed robots in the hands of Kazu Terasaki. When watching the video of this unusual modification, you can’t help but cringe waiting for these expensive gadgets to walk right over the edge of the table and crash to the floor.

Fractal Scene Robot Goes On and On Forever

(images via: screamyguy.net)

It’s not a physical robot, it’s a digital robot, but it’s still pretty cool. Programmer Matt Kozak created a fractal scene of a robot reproducing. Check out Matt’s website to view the scene from various angles and zoom in and out for the full trippy effect.

“Several years ago, I built a robot whose sole purpose in life was to create an even smaller robot just like himself… So much like himself, that this robot endeavoured to create yet another tiny robot, ad infinitum. This continued for a while until an extremely tiny speck of robot tried to endow purpose upon a cloud of molecules with ruinous result.”

Robot Fish Leads Schools of the Real Thing

(images via: botjunkie)

Professor Maurizio Porfiri has produced a robot fish that behaves with such realism, living fish can’t tell that it’s an impostor and will let it lead their school. Porfiri’s fish uses ionic polymers that swell and shrink in response to electrical simulation in order to power its tail for smooth, silent movement. The robot could actually be used to escort schools of fish away from dangers like hydroelectric turbines.

Robot Arm Turned F1 Simulator

(image via: popsci)

Ever wonder what it’s like to drive a Ferrari at top speeds? A robot by Paolo Robuffo Giordano and colleagues at the Max Planck Institute for Biological Cybernetics in Germany acts as a simulator to replicate the experience without the actual vehicle. A hot pink robotic arm, of the sort normally seen at amusement parks, holds an elevated seat that whips the rider around in front of a massive screen. While this might just be the world’s coolest simulated driving game, it’s also helping researchers study how the human body reacts to motion.

16 Forms: Programmed Robotic Music Experience

(images via: notcot)

Displayed at this year’s DesignTokyo Tide, ’16 Forms’ by Daito Manabe and Motoi Ishibashi combines a robot arm, turntable, scans and 3D prints of a dancer to produce a strangely hypnotic audio and visual experience. Watch the video at vision.ameba.jp.

R7 Rideable Robot

(images via: new scientist)

Korean company Robo3 produced a few amazing robots that were available for sale on the company’s website back in 2005 and 2006. Along with a robot bartender and a dinosaur, Robo3 offered the R7, a rideable robot that could have been yours for $5,250.

Robot Planter Seeks Sun

(images via: the play coalition)

Fitted with a woven planter basket, the ‘Plant Bot’ by The Play Coalition has four mechanical legs that move the plant around the room to find patches of sunlight. Its legs move something like those of a spider, and though it might help keep your plants alive, its best use might be surprising the hell out of unsuspecting guests.

Giant Robotic Spiders Prowl Yokohama

(images via: pink tentacle)

French performance artist group La Machine brought two insanely nightmarish robotic spiders to Yokohama, Japan in 2009 for Expo Y150, a 5-month festival in honor of the 150th anniversary of the opening of the city’s port. The spiders crawled along the streets in a spectacle that brought dubious 1960’s B-rated horror movies to life.

You Don’t Control This Robot, It Controls You

(image via: spectrum.ieee.org)

Sure, you can make robots do all kinds of cool and crazy things, but at least one of them turns the tables by controlling a human limb. The robot sends small electrical currents to electrodes taped to a person’s forearm to hold a ball and then drop it through a hoop. The technology could someday be used to help disabled people regain some of their motor skills.